Book Recommendation: Why Do We Feel Lonely at Church?
In 45 short pages, Jeremy Linneman gives answers and advice.
This is the first I’ve read of this new TGC Hard Questions series.
I read Why Do We Feel Lonely at Church? in one sitting - it’s 45 pages - 45 small pages. In fact, it convinced me to move the other to books in this series up on my reading list (Is Christianity Good for the World? and Does God Care about Gender Identity? - they were both given away at the TGC National Conference last year.)
As a shy introvert, I half-expected to have a typical guilt-trip of “Just be extroverted like Jesus” kind of book. But it wasn’t that at all (and can we prove if Jesus was extroverted or introverted?).
Rather, for the first half, Linneman normalizes loneliness. Everyone is lonely. The pandemic didn’t help. Our modern world is designed to create loneliness. And so, we’re all lonely. I found the few pages on the fact that near relationships (family) and far relationships (random strangers) haven’t changed, but middle relationships (acquaintances and friends) have was particularly insightful.
I heard an analogy a few weeks ago, I can’t exactly remember where, but I think it was an interview with Curtis Chang on the Good Faith Podcast. He (or whoever it was that I can’t remember) likened the world to a casino, where everything is designed to get you to gamble - the lights, the layout, the noise, the architecture. All of it is intentional so you spend money. And then there are signs that say “Gambling problem? Call….” shaming anyone that has a problem. They shame those who give in to a problem they created.
He links it to the world and anxiety. And I think the analogy stands when applied to loneliness as well. The first half of the book helps you see that things are more complicated than you might think
The back half of the book is advice for (1) lonely Christians leaving the church, (2) pastors and leaders, and (3) not-lonely Christians who know others are lonely. It’s not profound or new advice, but it’s helpful nonetheless.
It’s a short book(let?), but it’s great! Surely it’s worth your few minutes to read.
P.S. - I noticed that there’s another book in this series coming out soon: What Does Depression Mean for My Faith?